Hooct Un Foniks Wurct For Me
 
Just some random meanderings about life, love and the pursuit of happiness. A place where everything i do and say is right.

*Spelling and Punctuation Optional
Keywords | Title View | Refer to a Friend |
The Secret Message Thread
Posted:Jul 19, 2016 3:58 am
Last Updated:Mar 4, 2019 1:58 am
30554 Views

This is the thread like most have where i leave the comments and my responses private and between us.

This is for those interested in artwork or simply those who have questions that are for our eyes only.

I realize that this is self-serving and somewhat lazy, but i still refuse to pay for a subscription to this site. Not if I'm not going to run around with my dick out and messaging 47 people in a span of twenty minutes just waiting for a tug on the line.

I'm not here to chase people, but i am here to meet new people who are interested.
0 Comments , 6 Pending
Suddenly, Everyone is a 21 Savage Fan
Posted:Mar 6, 2019 4:45 am
Last Updated:Mar 9, 2019 5:37 am
237 Views
Well, today is the day that Catholics remind us all that they are in a creepy cult. This is also the day that i hand out a bunch of wet naps and tell people that they have something smudged on their foreheads.
7 Comments
Boredom
Posted:Feb 22, 2019 6:34 am
Last Updated:Feb 24, 2019 12:43 pm
345 Views

My neighbor spent the better part of the night awake and literally howling and barking at the moon. So, I woke up really early this morning and turned on Hansen's M'Bop to 11 and flipped the speakers around to face his wall.

That song has been on rotation now for about half an hour and I can't tell if he hates it or loves it... he's banging on the wall but in tempo with the song.

All of that just reminded me of what would happen when i was caught up with all of my work for the day and bored out of my mind. I discovered my phone came with a default app that was to be used to replace the remote control for your television. I am not a fan of Fox News, so i discovered that I could change the channel on the television with this app. The television that I would watch was directly outside of my shop and above the center of couches for exhausted shoppers.

I discovered that when i switched the channel, sooner or later one of the security guards would come by to change the channel back to the original channel. Originally, I would wait till he went back down the escalators and would switch it back to what I preferred.

THEN.

One day I was bored, and i was not in the mood to wait for the security guard to walk away.. I was watching a movie and it was at the good part. I switched it back and the security guard stopped in his tracks and looked at the tv.. he switched it back.. and I immediately changed the channel again. At this point, I no longer cared about the movie and was now focused on the security guard that was stunned and standing there in awe. I watched him look at the tv and then down to the remote in his hand. He walked away confused, but he walked away..

I was on to something.

Every Sunday during football season, men would gather in the area below the television to watch the big game while their wives shopped without the interruption of having someone breathing heavy behind them impatiently. I would wait for the crescendo of cheers start to swell and then I would turn off the TV.... just to listen to the chorus of disappointed AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWs. Then turn it back on as they all scrambled for the next TV downstairs in the food court. As soon as they would all settle in again, I would switch it off again.

Other times, I would catch the security guard standing in front of the TV watching the game. I would switch the channel just to watch him snap to attention as if he were working the whole time.
4 Comments
The Millennium Falcon Challenge
Posted:Feb 19, 2019 4:33 am
Last Updated:Feb 21, 2019 4:32 am
379 Views
For my next trick...

I'm going to take a nude selfie hiding behind THIS one.
3 Comments
Planes, Traines & Starships
Posted:Feb 18, 2019 6:13 am
Last Updated:Feb 21, 2019 4:25 am
397 Views
This past weekend i got to do the Annual IPMS Model Contest and Incel Whine Off, and, boy are my arms tired.

In my defense!

I don't take part in the contest, i just have an exhibit. But I'm there to represent my small business and basically talk for one hour doses about Star Trek and why i don't like Star Trek...

I like Star Trek, but every trek fan reminds me why i don't like Star Trek fans.

1. Despite what you may have heard... there is NO ACTUAL science in Star Trek. Seriously, if anyone takes out a motorola flip phone, they would laughed all the way back to 1997. If the show was so futuristic... then why didn't they predict the internet.

2. The original show from 1963 got cancelled because it was stupid. Travelling in space to run into space gods and Abraham Lincoln sitting a chair in space was pretty dumb. Also, anyone who can sit through Spock's Brain is VERY forgiving of a bad episode.

3. Captain James T. Kirk runs like a woman holding a purse. Nuff said!

So, the list goes on, but i use that whenever the vitriol on the
2009 reboot begins to spew. Otherwise, they can go on for days and ignore the fact that i have other people to talk to that are waiting on me.

I did get to sit with a really nice 50+ married woman that ditched her husband to hang out with me for while talk about her painting. She started painting her husband's N scale trains and landscapes, and have won awards all over Texas... but no one has ever talked to her about her craftsmanship. So, we sat together and talked shop and for ONCE a husband got impatient and had to pull his wife away from an exhibit at the IPMS model show. Typically, the room is run by the husbands running between exhibits and vendor tables like kids at recess, with their wives slowly brining up the rear holding boxes of models.... wondering where this came from after she only got a small box of chocolates for Valentine's Day.

This year, i ended up at the event center two hours past the end of the show talking to people.

Moral of the story:
Everyone loves a big millennium falcon.
2 Comments
My Safe Word Is, GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME.
Posted:Feb 18, 2019 5:35 am
Last Updated:Feb 19, 2019 9:57 am
451 Views

I just watched 50 Shades of Grey..

I don't know what i was expecting, i flipped through the book already. I guess i thought the nudity and sex would be good tho.

My conclusion:
Anyone who likes these books and movies should be checked for a concussion.

I think the whole problem is that i do not identify with the culture. This is on me, i freely admit that.

You want to be punished? My first thought is to roll up a newspaper, grab you by the back of the neck, rub your nose in whatever, slap you over the head with said newspaper and give you a firm, NO.

Recently, there was a couple that liked my pics, left nice comments and then sent a message. Well, after i responded.. they apparently thought a green light was turned on and whoever was writing their response called me a Sissy Bitch.

Da Fuq, you just say?

What followed was this unapologetic description of their sex life complete with costume change breaks, tools and toys. They showed off their paddle and that's when the needle got ripped off the record album.

I'm not going to bend over and get paddled by N.E.ONE... AND WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO THINK THAT YOU CAN CALL ME ANY FUCKING NAMES??!! As soon as i heard, Sissy B-.... I'm sure that I'm throwing out a Karl Malone elbow by instinct alone.

Oh yeah.. 50 Shades of BLEHHHHHH.

My only question about the books really is... Where was the editor?? Unfiltered, i run into a lot the same mistakes... i write off the cuff and sometimes my stuff needs a little glossing up on the professional level to kill any redundancies add punctuaion and even resculpt a paragraph or two to clean up my wording.

What happened to the editor on 50 Shades?

Fan fiction will ALWAYS be fan fiction.
6 Comments
Blue Green Eyes
Posted:Feb 14, 2019 3:51 am
Last Updated:Feb 15, 2019 8:58 am
530 Views

a couple of days ago, I posted a two illustrations. I may post them up again, but first I had to get this out of the way about the subject of those illustrations.

I just feel like everything I'm about to say about her will be lost because I posted an illustration of her beautiful ass on display for all to see. I just feel like there would a conflict in the message.

I met her on the site here three years ago and while I was attracted to the sight of her naked body... I also learned that I liked talking to her. I do like a certain type of woman. I hope when she reads this she will understand my point, but I have always been attracted to the nerdy girl. The quiet one who sits back to let all of the girls run around. I love her biting sarcasm and wit.

There's also this other side to her. The vixen, the seductress and the sub. She may be mousy, but the side of her that I have come to know is exciting, beautiful and naked. She wants things and will ask for things to be done to her. I love to have her lay on her belly across the bed and kiss the back of her legs and straight up to her round beautiful ass. I love to hear her breath become stunted and labored before as slight moan escapes her throat.. She lifts and adjusts herself as she...

WHOA, excuse me I got caught up there in a memory.

Most of all, I get lost in her blue-green eyes. I tend to look into her eyes and see things that I shouldn't. She nervously asks what I'm thinking and I realize that I have been staring into her eyes for too long without saying anything. All I can do is kiss her.

I don't have a thing to say because my defenses kick in.
1 comment
Premptive Valentine's Strike
Posted:Feb 11, 2019 7:11 pm
Last Updated:Feb 17, 2019 3:37 pm
627 Views

Is it wrong to accuse your gf of cheating on you a couple of days before Valentine's Day?

I'm going to forgive her on Saturday anyway, what's the big deal??

As an artist, it's hard to live up to Van Gogh's Valentine's Day gift. He sliced off his ear and presented it to her in a box. She just thought it was the ugliest ring ever and he was left there wondering if she didn't like it because it was the wrong color or not the right size.

Anyway, i was just going to give her a card.. thanks to Van Gogh for raising the bar. I'm not patting down my body trying think of which appendage i need the least just so she can think I'm being thoughtful.

What is Valentine's Day for you?
I learned to avoid dinner at nice sit down establishments where i don't have to carry a tray. All of the good movies are crowded, but sometimes i like a nice long walk on a cold February night.
That might sound selfish and cheap, and I'm not going to argue with you. I just don't want to shout over the noise of everyone else's night out.

I'm thinking of one night in particular before i was kicked out of art school. I actually was penniless and we both wanted a hot dog from the park downtown. The streets were still crowded so we cut through the Riverwalk that runs through downtown. We finally came back up to the sidewalk level where the ceowds were thinned out.

We got to tge hot dog car and ordered. We settled down in a spot and ate while we continued our conversation about nothing in particular, but engaging enough for us never to notice the time pass by. The cold never bothered us and i remember her frosted breath highlighted in the light under the lamp post.

That lamp post is still there down town and i still think about that kiss she never should have given me. I don't even remember the dumb kid i was back then... but i know that i wouldn't have gotten chili on that hot dog if i knew how long i would remember that night.
7 Comments
Fathers and Sons, Truck Driving and Depression: The Molotov Cocktail of Fun
Posted:Feb 10, 2019 6:40 am
Last Updated:Feb 17, 2019 3:42 pm
710 Views

I wrote the entire blog post and went to post it to my blog and poof.. it was gone. Like dust in the wind..

I'm pretty sure this will be nothing like the original draft, but here we go...

Yesterday, I found myself in a conversation with a woman online here. I try not to speak about my interactions here, i know people put themseves on the line here and are sensitive to seeing their thoughts in other people's blog or rant.. So I'm going to tread lightly and keep the details vague.

When you are speaking to someone do you ever get an overshared backstory that leaves you convinced that you're going to walk away with herpes... or wake up in a bath tub full of ice with a note urging you to go have that missing kidney looked at by a professional.

This time there was enough personal tragedy laced into this story to make you realize why some of her decisions in life were valid at the time. But also enough to give you a broader picture of the scenario that you are dealing with.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, I got a friend request from another woman who proudly declares that she is too good for a site like this. Which I couldn't exactly argue with and applauded her for her brashness. We chatted and exchanged pic and even moved our conversation to a more reliable platform. Then I realized, I started to get nothing but one syllable word responses. I just politely removed myself from the conversation and wished her luck finding what she is looking for. It obviously isn't me, but who am I to fault her for that?

Which made me start to think.. Maybe I'm too good for this site too. I mean, I may be just another faceless guy here with a bunch of dick pics.. but I think we should all ask ourselves this question. Just for perspective.

These two interactions made me wonder what I'm doing here. Not necessarily in a bad way, but maybe I should just pull back from meeting new people.

Soooo, this is post #100 and an unofficial end to Volume 3: The Prince of Persuasia.

Stay tuned for Volume 3: The Coconut Oil Chronicles. This volume will follow me through my path to quit looking like a person that just ate a ghost pepper after having sex.
8 Comments
Devil's Advocate
Posted:Feb 5, 2019 9:25 pm
Last Updated:Feb 10, 2019 2:53 pm
1199 Views
Well, this one went off like a fart in church, so why not not toss this one into the box of farts known as...

My blog.

I've had to curb this behaviour, but i like to get into a lot of pointless verbal spats with Trump supporters. Doesn't matter how many facts or stats that i present, their response is always going to be,

"Fuck you, Hilary cuck snowflake!!"

Touché.

It doesn't matter what is going on in the current political climate. They're just going to deflect to Hilary, Bill, and Obama. Just as a reminder, Hilary Clinton did not win the election and is sitting at home with Bill sipping on the tears of the MAGA wearing kool aid drinking spin doctors that still can't get over her emails. Not after Ivanka, Jared and Trump himself got slapped with the same scandal over the summer for using personal devices to make unsecured phone calls.

So, as i was watching a string of typical republican jabs.. i started think of the short sightedness of the typical Trump supporter. Facts don't matter to them and most are willing to go to great lengths to protect themselves from facts that don't agree with their own personal narrative. So, they stick to a prescribed list of deflections to avoid answering for Trump's idiotic behavior. All of them ranging from and limited to Hilary, Obama and Bill.

But what about Jimmy Carter?

That peanut eating Georgia goof nearly tanked this economy and was an ineffevtive leader during a deficit that left us unemployed and waiting in lines for gasoline. He was too passive to negotiate his way out of a wet paper bag let alone hostages taken by terrorists. The nation was in the clutches of a new terror threat as extremists discovered that they could hijack planes and make demands of governments around the world.

All of the Trump supporters lack the memory of Carter as presdident and actually miss an opportunity to make a valid point in a conversation about deflection when Trump shows up kicking a puppy into a woman's vagina on the news.

Tadaaaaaa...

Post #99
8 Comments
Ohhh, You Too?
Posted:Feb 4, 2019 7:43 am
Last Updated:Feb 8, 2019 7:04 am
1145 Views
Has anyone ever considered what it must be like for a celebrity who dies and then gets upstage by a bigger celebrity's death later that same afternoon?

I didn't really have much after that as far a as a blog post. I just figured that i might as well round out my blog to 100 and call that an even end to Volume 3. The first two volumes would be the undocumented deleted posts from about four years ago and the short luved blog that i started under a different screen name until this site determined that i did not draw any of the material that i present here... yet others can just cut and paste material that they never had a hand in creating.. go figure.

Anyway.. that's not what this is about..

There was a super bowl or something last night?

I actually spent the evening watching a bunch of videos on the yoo toob of a chiropractor cracking backs and joints which turned out to be strangely gratifying to watch. This morning i watched all of the good commercials on YooToob as well this morning, so i don't feel like i missed much at all. I also heard that both teams were playing like they knew that the winner would have to go to the McWhite House for hamberders and fries.

In other news, i made only one resolution this year. To be able to tie my shoes and breathe at the same time. I can say that i am no longer being found face down and ass up at the edge of the bed unconscious anymore as of this week.
5 Comments
I Hope All of Your Favorite Bands Never Break Up
Posted:Jan 31, 2019 8:06 am
Last Updated:Feb 10, 2019 8:06 am
1284 Views
Only Trump can reopen the government for a limited time.. like it's the fucking McRib.

I'm not one to share a lot of current personal information, but i may come back around and share a story of fondness for what is currently going on.

I also get really leery of people who just started reading my blog and think that they're welcomed to drop little turds here. I realized that i ended up on the list of Actve Male Bloggers a few weeks ago and just decided to take a step back and let people forget about this blog completely.

I'm not here to join in any of your reindeer games, or even punch the blog bullies in the face. I really could care less about the authors and heathens of the world.. and I'm not interested in allowing them to run the narrative when they're not even in the room.

So..

I'm going back to work.

You guys enjoy your blog drama and I'll be back whenever i feel like writing something about nothing.
6 Comments
Dancing on the Edge of a Razor
Posted:Jan 20, 2019 7:31 am
Last Updated:Jan 23, 2019 5:44 am
2736 Views

Have you checked out that new Gillette commercial?

I'm pretty sure y'all know which one.. the one that calls out toxic male syndrome.

If you really love women, you shouldn't have a problem with the message of that commercial. Apparently, that isn't the case with some guys who are burning their razors as a means of protest. Gillette has joined the pyre built from Kappernick jersies, and Kuerig coffee machines and any other product that has called men out for having fragile egos.

I understand that there are some psycho feminists out there that want every single man to apologize to them for simply having a penis. This Gillette ad doesn't speak for them.

I think that ad speaks to us as men that doesn't strip us of a single thing, except to treat women better. Some of you guys that are pissed off about women being flakes and fakes might get a little further on this site if you actually spoke to a woman on an even level. You can call me any name you like, but you're the one striking out every single time, not me.

I don't understand the need to lash out in that way. If you're not behaving this way, then what's with the anger???

If you think Gillette just needs to stick to selling razors.. i think you're right. I just can't wait for Budweiser to do the same thing.
6 Comments

To link to this blog (CynicusMaximus) use [blog CynicusMaximus] in your messages.

47 M
March 2019
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
          1
 
2
 
3
 
4
 
5
 
6
1
7
 
8
 
9
 
10
 
11
 
12
 
13
 
14
 
15
 
16
 
17
 
18
 
19
 
20
 
21
 
22
 
23
 
24
 
25
 
26
 
27
 
28
 
29
 
30
 
31
 
           

Recent Visitors

Visitor Age Sex Date
charliegal1965 53F3/21
smallballs555  63M3/17
allen6400  59M3/16
superbjversion2 99F3/15
White_Gardener  44M3/10
SausageNight21M3/9
lyavu 45F3/8
misskissin 55F3/8
TrucknLuvn 54/36C3/8
TicklePlease 51F3/8